The Lives of Mister Creepo

Mr. Creepo's Lives
by Chonny Hammernoggin
Underground Erotic Horror World Magazine, June 2005 issue
~~~
I caught up with Mr. Creepo upstairs in a Korean deli on 30th Street that allows you to drink beer inside. I saw him from across the room, wild white and blue hair sticking out in every direction, staring intently at some bikini girl on a weight-loss commercial playing on the deli’s TV set. I approached him, making some comment about us being alone in the establishment. “Nobody here but us, the CIA, the DeRo, and the space brothers,” he replied jovially, with a glint in his eye reminiscent of Old St. Nick, or perhaps that other old Nick. Mr. Creepo had been born Timothy Green Beckley back sometime during the last century. I read Beckley’s books when I was young, as well as his UFO Magazine. I was curious what caused him to become the erotic/horror movie star he is today.

CHONNY HAMMERNOGGIN: So how did you become Mr. Creepo?

MISTER CREEPO: What do you mean? I was born. Not in precisely the same manner as you normal humans, but the process is a similar one.

CH: That’s how you became Timothy Green Beckley, your original persona, editor of UFO Magazine.

MC: Yes, I edited that magazine along with UFO Universe, Front Page Disaster, Moped Action, Future Fantasy—

CH: Ahh, the future!

MC: Superbowl Classics--

CH: Ahh, the past.

MC: Aliens and Angels, Unexplained Universe, Unsolved Sightings, Adult Cinema Review, Redheads Special--

CH: I get the idea, I get the idea.

MC: I edited over 30 magazines, I’ll have you know.

MC: Yes, thank you, I am the author of many books. So many, in fact, that I cannot remember all their titles. But I assure you, each was packed cover to cover with that unmistakable Creepo je ne sais qua. Actually, I owe it all to Gray Barker and even Ray Palmer for getting me into the writing "business” (yeah that’s a joke). Gray used to do a column for Ray Palmer's FLYING SAUCERS FROM OTHER WORLDS magazine -- it was called Chasing the Flying Saucers. When he stopped doing the column I asked Palmer if I could do a regular feature which we called On The Trail Of The Flying Saucers. It ran for maybe l0 issues I think and included a lot of my early adventures - sort of a teenage X Files. Palmer didn’t pay contributors but I managed to wrangle some free ad space out of him and so I started selling books from authors like Michael X (no relation to Commander X) and Ted Owens, the amazing PK man.

CH: I’m beginning to think that there never was any transformation. I’m beginning to think you’ve been Mr. Creepo right from the start!

MC: That’s what I’ve been saying all along. By the way, I once spoke at the House of Lords, you know, so remember to put that in there.


Mr. Creepo's Lives by Chonny Hammernoggin Underground Erotic Horror World Magazine, June 2005 issue ~~~ I caught up with Mr. Creepo upstairs in a Korean deli on 30th Street that allows you to drink beer inside. I saw him from across the room, wild white and blue hair sticking out in every direction, staring intently at some bikini girl on a weight-loss commercial playing on the deli’s TV set. I approached him, making some comment about us being alone in the establishment. “Nobody here but us, the CIA, the DeRo, and the space brothers,” he replied jovially, with a glint in his eye reminiscent of Old St. Nick, or perhaps that other old Nick. Mr. Creepo had been born Timothy Green Beckley back sometime during the last century. I read Beckley’s books when I was young, as well as his UFO Magazine. I was curious what caused him to become the erotic/horror movie star he is today.
		CHONNY HAMMERNOGGIN: So how did you become Mr. Creepo? MISTER CREEPO: What do you mean? I was born. Not in precisely the same manner as you normal humans, but the process is a similar one. CH: That’s how you became Timothy Green Beckley, your original persona, editor of UFO Magazine. MC: Yes, I edited that magazine along with UFO Universe, Front Page Disaster, Moped Action, Future Fantasy— CH: Ahh, the future! MC: Superbowl Classics-- CH: Ahh, the past. MC: Aliens and Angels, Unexplained Universe, Unsolved Sightings, Adult Cinema Review, Redheads Special-- CH: I get the idea, I get the idea. MC: I edited over 30 magazines, I’ll have you know.

	CH: Yes, but that was Timothy Green Beckley who edited those. I’m curious how Tim Beckley became “Mister Creepo.” Was it a bump on the head? A CIA mind control subplot? Overuse of recreational chemicals? MC: Actually it was Nancy Reagan. She was still Nancy Davis in those days. CH: Woah! You did it with Reagan’s wife and it drove you insane? MC: No, no, she was in a movie on late night TV when I was a kid. It was called, Donovan’s Brain. My mother wouldn’t let me stay up to watch it, but I could hear the horrifying pumping of the brain being kept alive in a jar. CH: So you became Mr. Creepo because your mother wouldn’t let you watch Creature Features? MC: Also the sweet smell of piss on 42nd Street back in the ‘60’s probably forced me into one of those theaters to see I Spit On Your Grave, Black Sunday, and later, I Am Curious, Yellow. Boy, did that last one suck. I watched more porn as Hustler’s movie review critic than anyone alive. My palms became so hairy, they thought I was Bigfoot. CH: So you watched one too many bad porn movies and your brain cracked apart? MC: You wanna talk porn? I had the real scoop on Michael Jackson with my first feature film, Driller. No little boys for Michael, just werewolves, horndogs, spurting girls and a big-assed hump back that grew into an even bigger-assed Mister Creepo. At least let’s hope he uses a glove when he “beats it.” CH: Yes, but why did you leave behind the semi-respectability of the UFO world to become the star of erotic horror B-movies? MC: You wanna talk respectability? I was on Regis three times. That’s respectability. We discussed UFOs and the strange and unknown. For a period there when the UFO field was kind of dormant and void of authority, I was just about the only person to travel the highways and byways of this great land, speaking out against the criminal injustice of keeping alien visitations a secret from the public. CH: Oh, so you disagree with John Keel then, and think that all UFOs are from outer space? MC: I never said that. Anyway, back to the discussion of my respectability. Back then, I made the covers of papers from North Carolina to Hawaii and everywhere in-between. I did the late-night talk shows and lectured widely. I was a king among mere mortals. Then others wanted the fame and the glory and it got to be old hat for me. So I let them think they were taking over. CH: I see. MC: Yes. It is a vast wasteland when Creepo – I mean MISTER UFO – does not rule the scene! CH: That brings me back to my initial question: What made you change from being Mr. UFO who hung with Muhammad Ali and Uri Geller to Mr. Creepo who hangs with blood-covered nymphomaniac strippers? MC: Speaking of UFOs, I was a semi-regular on the Long John Nebel Show on WOR and NBC. He was 30 years before Art Bell and would talk 6 nights a week to people like George Adamski and Howard Menger, who claimed they had visited the planet Venus on a flying saucer. He also had on the likes of Richard Shaver, who claimed to be battling against the wicked underground people known as the “DeRos.” Also, speaking of talk shows, Joe Franklin is my buddy. Didn't you know I was the publisher of Joe Franklin's Memory Lane News? Large tabloid we put out many a blue moon ago. Stories on the 3 Stooges, Sinatra boy, Bing -- all the really bygone stars. Lots of photos from Joe's personal archives. We even published Joe Franklin's 50 Years Of Great Film Comedians. Great man. Humble. Sincere. Really likes to help people out career-wise. I must have been on his show 3 or 4 times as a writer and art critic (which I admit I know nothing about). We talked about rock 'n roll cause Joe used to be friends with John Lennon. Joe used to have an office on Times Square right above a grind house -- I mean movie theater. He had mounds of stuff all over the place. He even showed me a l947 issue of TV Guide -- the issue where his show premiered. He was on the air longer than any other program as far as I know. There is a restaurant on 8th Avenue with his name on it. CH: Okay, I’ll try again. What makes an author well-known enough to get booked on all those shows and publish Joe Franklin to change his name to Mr. Creepo and start turning out the world’s most bizarre sexy horror movies?
	MC: Yes, thank you, I am the author of many books. So many, in fact, that I cannot remember all their titles. But I assure you, each was packed cover to cover with that unmistakable Creepo je ne sais qua. Actually, I owe it all to Gray Barker and even Ray Palmer for getting me into the writing "business” (yeah that’s a joke). Gray used to do a column for Ray Palmer's FLYING SAUCERS FROM OTHER WORLDS magazine -- it was called Chasing the Flying Saucers. When he stopped doing the column I asked Palmer if I could do a regular feature which we called On The Trail Of The Flying Saucers. It ran for maybe l0 issues I think and included a lot of my early adventures - sort of a teenage X Files. Palmer didn’t pay contributors but I managed to wrangle some free ad space out of him and so I started selling books from authors like Michael X (no relation to Commander X) and Ted Owens, the amazing PK man. CH: I’m beginning to think that there never was any transformation. I’m beginning to think you’ve been Mr. Creepo right from the start! MC: That’s what I’ve been saying all along. By the way, I once spoke at the House of Lords, you know, so remember to put that in there.

	~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chonny Hammernoggin is a 20-something writer from Jersey City seriously considering learning to play guitar instead. Mr. Creepo can be found at http://www.mrcreepo.com HOME \| CREEPORIUM \| MR. CREEPO AS A SENATOR